Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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