He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
did i just pee glitter
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
