Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize