I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
