drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
