I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
