My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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