god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
