so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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