we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
