Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
