Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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