but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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