i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
