his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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