i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
