if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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