The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
