so explain again why im purple
no
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize