I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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