She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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