I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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