i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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