i was born a porn star she said
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
