He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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