He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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