he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
