Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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