upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
