Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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