Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
