Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
