hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
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im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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