hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
