Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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