nut hugger
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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