THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
