So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
