i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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