well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize