if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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