does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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