no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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