Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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