he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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