Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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