I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
