I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she smelled like a LAN party
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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