my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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