i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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