don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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