i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
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