Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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