totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize