i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
