Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
COCAINE IS GR8
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