We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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