guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
